Strictness in parenting and how it corrupts every child; A case study

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Azeezah Olatunde

“Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.” (Anne Frank).

It is true that parenting style affects everything from how much your child weighs to how s/he feels to the decision s/he takes in critical condition or situation. Thus, it’s important as a parent to to ensure your parenting style is supporting your child’s healthy growth and development because the way you interact with your child and how you discipline him will influence him for the rest of his life.

Research has shown that we have four major parenting styles: Authoritative, Authoritarian, Permissive and Uninvolved.

However, the scope of this piece is to examine an aspect of authoritarian parenting style – – strictness that makes it unhealthy for the children of this generation, the millinieal.

Without doubt, each parenting style tends to have adverse effects on children’s development. Most parents develop unnecessary fear in their child in an attempt to instil disciplining because they want to try as much as possible to elude any means that will make their children take part in iniquitous acts. As a result of this trepidation, some parents choose to be “strict” while raising their children.

By strict parents, I am referring to those parents that demand that children obey rules and regulations without questioning. It is like a one way communication – just do what I said without explaining reasons behind it. This style of parenting is dictatorial and authoritarian in nature which often has negative effects on the children upbringing.

The point here is that it’s a good thing for parents to enforce rules and regulations on their children and to also ensure that they abide by
it but it becomes extreme if there is no room for personal autonomy for the children.

More often than not, parent mistake being disciplined with being strict. These two words have lucent differences along with the result they produce. A disciplined parent will guide a child to abide by the rules they’ve made and make them understand the reasons for the rules and the consequences of not complying to such rules. This style of parenting leads the children to develop certain skills such as self-control, self-discipline, high self-esteem and breed a strong bond between the parent and the children.

Khalil Gibran captured reasons while parent must not be too rigid or strict while training their children by saying: “Your children are not your children. They are sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, for thir souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth…”

It is therefore clear from the submission of Khalil Gibran that no parent can independently make their child without the influence of the child himself.

To be continued.

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