Love in school is different from love in marriage – says Ogunwuyiwa

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Abideen Muhammed

A renowned marital counsellor and educator, Mr Ogunmuyiwa Sulaimon has explained that love during schooling days is quite different from love shared during marital life.

This fact was disclosed during a get-together organised by the Muslim Students’ Society of Nigeria (MSSN), Oshodi local government for higher institution students living in the area.

Mr Ogunmuyiwa, who is also a Deputy Director, Office of Education Quality Assurance in Lagos state ministry of education, used the occasion to sensitised the youths about the requirements of marriage life.

“Love in school is different from real love. During my school days, I crush for a lady that affected my results. In the end, she jilted me. This was after sacrificing everything for her. My brother, you need marriage counseling before going into it”, he said.

“Most of the people only prepare for wedding and not marriage. Also, the extent at which you distance from Haram before marriage determines the extent of your happiness in marriage.”

He cautioned dabbling into marriage when one is not matured for it. You can only go into marriage when you are matured for it. He said: “Maturity is two types: sexual maturity and complete maturity. Sexual maturity is not enough, marriage comes with responsibilities.”

“The choice of a marriage partner is one of the most important decisions a person will make in his or her lifetime. It should not be taken lightly, nor left to chance or hormones. It should be taken as seriously as any other major decision in life – with prayer, careful investigation, and family involvement.”

Marriage in Islam

Mr Ogunwuyiwa referenced a saying of the prophet on what marriage really means.

The prophet said: “the similitude of a righteous companion and an evil companion is like that of a holder of scent of misk (perfume) and a kindler of bellow (goldsmith). The holder of scent will either give you, or sell to you or you get a fragrant odour from him, while a kindler of bellow will either burn you dress or you get odious odour from him.”

He also addressed dating as currently practised as not being in tune with Islamic dictate.

“Dating as it is currently practised in much of the world does not exist among Muslims. Young Muslim men and women (or boys and girls) do not enter into one-on-one intimate relationships, spending time alone together, “getting to know each other” in a very deep way before deciding whether that’s the person they will marry.”

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